


I'll Have Your Back, I'll Be Your Strength

by malecnificenttyrus11



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 Season 4, Buck is adopted, Canon Compliant, Comforting!Eddie Diaz, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Conflict, Friendship, Hopeful Ending, Implied Feelings, Late Night Conversations, Pre-Relationship, Supportive!Eddie Diaz, buddie, sad!buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecnificenttyrus11/pseuds/malecnificenttyrus11
Summary: After Buck's entire world is turned upside down, a bombshell dropped on him by his not-parents, and a betrayal from his older sister, he goes to the one person he knows he can trust. How will Eddie react to the news that Buck is adopted? And Will Eddie be able to convince Buck that everything is going to work out?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 325





	I'll Have Your Back, I'll Be Your Strength

Eddie has just finished tucking Christopher in for the night when a quiet knock sounds against the front door. He turns in the direction of the hallway, furrowing his eyebrows.

Unsure of who could be knocking at his door this late at night, he turns to press a quick kiss against Christopher's forehead, brushing his hair out of his eyes and whispering a quiet 'goodnight' to him before shutting the bedroom light and closing the door softly, making his way through the house and towards the front door.

He reaches the front door, unlocking it and pulling it open to see...

"Buck?" Eddie breathes out, voice laced with confusion.

Buck is silent, head turned downward, and Eddie finds himself hit with a sudden wave of concern, "Buck?" he repeats softly.

"Hey, Eds. I'm sorry for showing up unannounced like this. And...so _late_. I just...I didn't know where else to go." Buck says quietly, fidgeting his hands.

Eddie sighs, "Buck, you don't have to apologize. You know you're _always_ welcome here."

"But," he pauses, taking a small step forward, "I thought you were having dinner with Maddie and your parents tonight."

Buck flinches slightly, letting out a breath, "Yeah, I was. I was, but, uh..." his voice drifts off.

"Did...something happen?" Eddie questions, frowning.

Buck hesitates for a moment before nodding, "Yeah. I couldn't be there anymore, Eds. I just..."

Eddie opens the door wider, "I just put Chris down for the night. Do you want to come in and...talk about it?"

"I don't know, Eds...I don't want to be a-" Buck starts, Eddie cutting him off.

"You _aren't_ being a bother, Buck. You know that I'm always here if you need to talk about anything. And besides," he pauses, leaning against the doorframe, "you wouldn't have shown up on my doorstep unless you needed to talk, so..." Eddie finishes off, gesturing with his hand.

Buck laughs softly, looking up to meet Eddie's eyes for the first time---Eddie tries not to frown further upon taking note of his red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and the deep frown on his face---. He shoves his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, yeah, okay...thanks." he says, walking inside.

Eddie shuts the door, walking in the direction of the living room and plopping down onto the couch. He turns around to see Buck lingering in the entryway to the living room, gaze casted downward.

He raises an eyebrow, "You don't need an invitation to sit down, you know that...right?" he teases, hoping to get a small smile out of Buck.

Buck's lips quirk upwards slightly, Eddie smirking in success. He pats the seat next to him, "C'mon...sit down and talk to me, Buckley."

Buck nods, slowly making his way over to the couch and sitting down beside Eddie, immediately hunching over.

"What happened, Buck?" Eddie asks softly.

Buck is silent for a few moments, "Y'know, it's funny but, uh...something always seems to happen when my-" he pauses, voice cracking, "my _parents_...come around. This time was no exception but...it's never been this bad."

Eddie stays silent, allowing Buck to continue, "It all started when they found out that I've been in therapy. They, well... _my dad_ , didn't react too well. Always thought that therapy was a sign of weakness, that it...took away from your masculinity."

Eddie nods, "Yeah, my parents instilled that idea in me, too. Until, y'know..." he gestures with his hand in a motion that says _y'know, post-lawsuit, street fighting, post-tsunami and all of that crap,_ "So, they gave you a hard time, then?"

"Not _really_. I mean, they _always_ give me a hard time...it's nothing I'm not used to. They've always criticized and belittled me for _everything,_ and I mean everything. My interests, my jobs, hell...they even criticized me for this stupid birthmark on my face, which, y'know...is kind of out of my control." he explains, gesturing weakly to his face.

Eddie frowns, "I...I didn't know it was that bad. You've never really talked about them."

"Yeah, well...there's never been much to tell about them. They were always just," he pauses, "distant, cold...hands-off. Nothing to brag about, and nothing to reall talk about either."

Buck laughs sadly, wringing his hands together, "I always wondered why they were like that, y'know? I always wondered, ' _why don't they pay attention to me,' why don't they care'_. And then tonight, I finally learned why."

Eddie stays silent, giving Buck a patient look, "Eddie, they..." his voice cracks, "they told me that I was adopted."

Eddie's eyes widen, "Wait, _what_?" 

"I was adopted. They...they aren't my real parents, Eddie." Buck repeats, slumping back against the couch.

Eddie blinks, clearing his throat, "Buck, I...I don't even know what to say. That's...that's _big_."

Buck nods, "Yeah, I didn't know what to say either, honestly. And that wasn't even the worst part." he stands up from the couch, moving to pace in the center of the living room.

Eddie shifts to face him, leaning his arms on his legs.

"I mean, sure...people are supposed to adopt a child because they want to care for them, y'know...be _parents_. They were never like that...and I accepted it a long time ago. But, that bombshell being dropped on me wasn't even what hurt the most." Buck explains, continuing to pace.

Eddie frowns, "Then what-" he starts to ask, Buck cutting him off.

"Maddie knew." Buck admits quietly, pausing and looking down at the ground.

Eddie's eyes widen, "Wait...Maddie _knew_?" he asks in disbelief.

Buck nods, laughing sadly-yet-bitterly, "Yeah. Isn't that _crazy_? Eddie, my sister, the _only_ real family I have outside of the 118, has been lying to me _my entire life_. She knew why our..." he pauses, "parents were the way they were with me, and she _never_ told me."

" _Jesus_ , Buck...I'm so sorry." Eddie breathes out.

Buck sighs, "Yeah, me too. I just, Eds...I thought I was finally, _finally_ getting a handle on it all, y'know?"

He resumes his pacing, hands gesturing around as he continues ranting, "I was finally making progress on my health, I'd been working through my trauma, my PTSD...hell, I've even been opening up to a therapist about years, maybe even a _lifetime_ of repressed emotional crap. And just when I thought I was getting somewhere, the walls caved in on me _again_..."

Eddie's stays silent, concerned gaze following Buck.

"My _whole life_ has been a _lie_. I...I don't even know who I _am_ anymore, Eddie. I'm still the same lonely person I've been for years, except now I don't have a _clue_ who that person even is." Buck says, voice breaking.

Eddie frowns, slowly standing up from the couch, "Buck..." 

Buck shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, "I don't know _anything_ anymore, Eddie. I...I've never felt more scared, more _alone_...in my entire life. I feel lost."

Eddie walks over to Buck, resting a firm hand on his shoulder, "Buck, hey...look at me." he says softly, thumb stroking his collarbone.

Buck hesitates for a moment before shifting his gaze up to meet Eddie's eyes.

"I know that this is a lot for you to take in. And I can only imagine how hurt you must feel, how...how _scary_ it must be for you. But Buck..." he pauses, squeezing his shoulder, "You _aren't_ alone in this, okay? You have the team, you have Chris, you have _me_."

Buck looks down, and Eddie tilts his head to meet Buck's eyes, forcing him to look up at him again, " _I'm_ here, Buck. I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I don't know if I'll be able to get through this, Eds." Buck whispers, eyes welling up with unshed tears.

Eddie gives him a small smile, "I _know_ that you will. You _will_ get through this, Buck."

"How do you know?" Buck asks.

"Because you're _Evan Buckley_. You've been knocked down so many damn times, and against all odds have gotten back up...stronger than before. This time is no exception." Eddie says, voice sure and firm.

Buck sighs, "And if I'm not strong enough this time?"

Eddie shrugs, "Then I guess I'll just have to have your back, like I always do." he smirks.

Buck's eyes widen, glistening with unshed tears. He laughs wetly, running his arm across his eyes, "Damn, Diaz...you really know how to get a guy to cry."

Eddie laughs fondly, shaking his head. He immediately schools his features, face turning serious again.

"It's okay not to be strong all the time, Buck. It's okay to break down, and to be vulnerable. You showed me that, and...it pulled me out of some pretty _dark_ places." Eddie says.

He steps closer to Buck, "You've always been _our_ strength," he pauses, gesturing with his hand as to say _everyone's_ , "let us, let _me_...be the same for you."

Buck nods, immediately walking forward and collapsing into Eddie's arms, pulling him into a tight embrace. Eddie's arms immediately wrap around Buck, a hand coming up to cradle his head.

"It's all going to be okay, Buck. I _promise_." Eddie whispers, tightening his hold on him.

Buck lets out a quiet sob, tucking his head in the crook of Eddie's neck, finally letting the pent-up emotions of the day out.

He doesn't know what's going to happen next. He doesn't know how he's going to be able to face his sister again, or even his parents who aren't _really_ his parents. He doesn't know how to fix this situation, or if it can even be fixed.

However, as Buck stands here wrapped in the embrace of the one person he trusts the most in the world, the person who makes him feel safe, the person who makes him feel like home, who _is his home_ , he starts to believe that everything will be alright.

_As long as he has his family, his found-family with the 118, the family that he's built with Eddie and Christopher, he knows who he is._

He's Evan Buckley, and when life knocks him down, he gets back up. And when he can't, well...Eddie will just have to have his back.

_And Buck...doesn't mind that at all._


End file.
